Sunday, December 18, 2022 marks the 25th anniversary of the absolutely legendary Seinfeld episode “The Strike.” Yes, Festivus is upon us.
We got the aluminum pole back out of the crawl space in 2021 for the first edition of Festivus on the Upper West Side. Now, we welcome all of our readers, from near and far, back for the second coming. What bothered you in 2022?
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“No! Stop it. It’s nothing. It’s a stupid holiday my father invented. It doesn’t exist.” —George Costanza
But it does, George, it does! Jerry first explains Festivus at Monk’s Cafe (actually Tom’s Restaurant at 2880 Broadway) when the episode first aired on this date in 1997. “When George was growing up, his father hated all of the commercial and religious aspects of Christmas, so he made up his own holiday.” George storms off when Jerry reminds him of the feats of strength.
READ MORE: Seinfeld Locations on the Upper West Side!
Later in the episode, Kramer finds out that the original H&H Bagels on 80th and Broadway is now paying $5.35 an hour (the same as the new minimum wage), which leads him to call off his 12-year strike of getting his hands back in that dough. H&H serves as the site where Frank Costanza educates Kramer on the ways of Festivus before ultimately reviving it. Kramer goes back on strike against H&H when they won’t give him December 23 off to celebrate Festivus.
“Welcome, newcomers. The tradition of Festivus begins with the airing of grievances. I got a lot of problems with you people! And now you’re gonna hear about it!” —Frank Costanza
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Here’s your chance, readers. Let it rip. In the comments section below, feel free to air out all of your grievances, gripes and/or complaints of what ticked you off the most this year.
Beef with a loved one? Upset with your pet? At a loss with your boss? Maybe someone left an empty shopping basket by the candy area in the self-checkout line at Fairway, then asked you for “their” spot when they came back to it? Air it out.
Upset with a sports team or angry at a business? Maybe you’re angry a business you loved is no longer with us, or a business you love changed something you loved about it (the look of heartbreak and bewilderment on people’s faces when they go to Gray’s Papaya late at night and find out it’s not 24 hours anymore) … SERENITY NOW!
We’ll publish our favorite grievances on Festivus (December 23) if there’s enough participation.
Make Frank Costanza, played by the late, great Jerry Stiller, proud. To learn all about Festivus and its true inspiration, check out FestivusWeb.com.
Seinfeld is currently streaming on Netflix. “The Strike” is Season 9, episode 10.
Nearly being run down by a delivery guy who’d decided to run the red on the avenue “bike” land last night seems so pedestrian.
Oh wait, it’s an actual grievance and a significant danger that the City refuses to address.
Will there be an aluminum poll raising somewhere?
Yes – the bikes are totally out of control. Bikers should have the right to their lanes but when they’re going 5x safe speed through lights or worse yet, the opposite way in a one way crossing, they should be heavily fined imo. Almost got killed a couple of times.
People with strollers thinking they own the sidewalk because they decided to have sex without a condom. Especially the ones with double-wides.
Dan:
You have to remember, some times it’s the nannies blocking the sidewalks and doorways.
If the kids are the same age, the double wides are called “fertility [treatment] strollers”.
People who use their strollers to ‘set picks’ and block the right away path of someone else can annoy me sometimes, depending on how risqué they are with it. Looks like they’re putting the young one in jeopardy so they can go cut in front of people.
People who don’t pick up after their dogs and, please have the decency to pour some water on the pee. The streets wouldn’t be so gross!
New cars with new license plates that have been obviously intentionally damaged so they won’t be recognized by cameras, and NYPD does nothing about it.
Steve R:
Why just new cars?
I have a gripe with New York Mets fans. In game 3 of the wild card t his year we didn’t even sell out CITI Field.
BIG IMPORTANT game for a historically suffering franchise and Mets fans couldn’t be bothered enough to get to the stadium? Bad karma and of course they lost. SHAME on you, Mets fan who stayed home.
I am seriously tired of all those people who wait to get into elevators with me so that I have to hear them complain about the motherfucking weather! Surely they’ve got something better to do like watch daytime TV or maybe even talk to them selves while brushing their teeth each morning.
I’m not sure if this counts but I see a lot of self help books left outside peoples homes for others to be able to take for themselves.
I always wonder when I see these books if they actually worked for people. Is it outside because it was actually life changing and they want to share it or is it just abandoned to open up space for maybe another self help book?
If it’s not too much to ask, would people please write a note inside these left out self help books they so we know if they’re good and helpful or not?
I know everything isn’t one size fits all, and time is of the essence. but any input at all to help me make the most of my time and effort would be most appreciated.
Happy Festivus
Cassie:
I saw a whole bench in the middle of Broadway filled with such and DVDs, found an USB drive packaged in a DVD case. Took it home and formatted over the “help files”. Very satisfying. 8GB.
Just saying some times there’s a silver lining.
Dude! Do not plug mysterious USBs into your computer. That is a classic hacker trick.
Zeke:
Right, someone would have to have opened the DVD case, then taken the USB drive out, which had the same conference name as the DVD case, and installed malware that launches automatically, and can get past my formidable security software — one of only 2 packages the NSA (or the part we’re allowed to know of) has not managed to hack.
Under those circumstances, hacking of my computer is highly unlikely. And if somehow something got through all that, I have very powerful system revert software, which can effectively reverse time, so therefore some malware event wouldn’t have happened.
So dude, you have a lot to learn about computer security presumptions and precautions.
Humans
Trash and rats, rats and trash… may be overly simplistic, but they seem related and both are filed under my current grievances. Also – Uber entitlement.
P.S. GREAT idea on intentionally damaging my new plate. Thanks!
– Happy Holidays!
David:
What’s “Uber entitlement”? And does it extend to the Uber Eats delivery guys who feel entitled to run reds at speed and drive the wrong way, or is it just something about Uber car drivers?
Feats of Strength?
I seem to recall that there were a few in the episode. Performed by Frank (Jerry Stiller).
Not enough good affordable Chinese food on the UWS!
I have a grievance with myself. I just can’t have nice things. Bought a new iPhone, declined insurance thinking I’d buy AppleCare instead. Then got the phone wet and killed it before I purchased the AppleCare. What an a-hole I am!
You think you got it bad? I got two words for ya:
Crotch
Rot
all I know I’m gunna miss that ABC building with all the ABC action when it moves out. When is all that going away and WTF is coming?
getting ready for future Festivus’s, I think.
I’m tired of seeing all of my friends leave NYC for greener pastures. I think I’m about to lose another one.
I have a grievance with the rats that chewed through my car cables. So much trash everywhere…why chew through cables?
I have a grievance with PSE&G. Why such crazy increase for energy delivery? You’re causing my husband to go into all sorts of fits every month, which then leads me to spend a perfectly calm Sunday listening to him explain percentages and ratios of previous bills and their comparisons now. Oy vey.
I also have a grievance with the person in our building that seems to not take their mail catalogs upstairs after checking the mail and instead dumps them on the ground along with other random junk mail in entrance floor. There’s no trash can there…why make such messes?
yes, strollers playing chicken on the sidewalk and it’s rarely the nannies but the rather the parents, yes no good Chinese food in the area, yes to all of these grievances! Today’s grievance is people who send Christmas “cards” that have pictures of their kids…. when is this going to stop? Is it ok to throw away these “cards”? Am I expected to save them till said kid is 18 years old? Please help me understand…
I just turned 26 this year and I’m by and large burnt out by my friends getting married. my summers are full of these destination weddings I gotta go to because most are dear friends from back in college.
It’s gotten exhausting and expensive. So that’s it. 2023 will be wedding free unless it’s right by me.